Dear Fritz,
I wear my messenger bag high and tight and empty just like the cool kids I see in the videos, but the other cyclists in my city just laugh at my sense of style. What am I doing wrong?
Signed,
Confused in Cleveland
Dear Confused,
Just like politics and good organic produce, cyclist style is local. Chrome is king in San Francisco, but Lycra still leads in much of the Midwest.
Ditch the steel SE Lager fixed gear bike, those ridiculously tight Swrve pants, hemp belt and your home sewn bag and replace it all with roadie gear. A good starter ensemble might include the Look 595, ridiculously tight Assos "kit", and Rudy Project eyeglasses. You can still wear your Sidi shoes, though you need to learn how to use clipless pedals. The roadies will still mock your piercings, PBR and smoking, but they'll let you ride with them -- probably in the "C" group -- if you can hang with the peloton.
Love, Fritz
10 comments:
Really? I mean really? Style really matters that much? Really. How about swinging your leg over your bike and just ride? Stop being a poser.
Go Cleveland!
If you're getting people to laugh in Cleveland, that's a good thing.
My one recommendation, seeing that you're in Cleveland and all, is to get the largest messenger bag you can find and carry it very low. That huge bag will make your, um, posterior look smaller by comparison, and if you're anywhere in the Midwest, that's probably a good idea.
Did I mention that I'm a Steelers fan? No? And that I almost got arrested in Cleveland once? Dunno how that slipped my mind.
My word verification is 'charm'. Imagine that.
You're a charming fella, Ed. Watch out for them zombies.
Did someone say PBR? *ears perk*
Everyone knows what a "full Cleveland" is, right? So the problem isn't the messenger bag or the bike, it's the white patent leather belt and shoes that have been combined with the lycra.
Okay, so the weather made me grumpy. My race today was rained out, and now I'm going on a business trip where my employer will deny that a rental bicycle is a work-related expense.
I ain't never heard of "full Cleveland" before -- thanks for the education!
Too bad about your employer. I've never had problems with bike rental as a travel expense.
...whoa...& i thought a "full cleveland" was a...oh, wait, never mind...the kids might be reading...
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